A Phoenix Blessing
by nevukiun
Summary: The origin of Dumbledore's bond with Fawkes. Somewhat bittersweet.


A Phoenix Blessing

Note - I do not own Harry Potter or anything related to it.

Of fire and ash he dreamed. He dreamed of ash that turned into fire, and fire that turned into ash. It was a recurring dream of his. All who bond with a phoenix will have such a dream, both before and after the bond is initially established, for phoenixes are not bound to the temporal rules that mortal beings are. This is both a blessing and curse for all those who associate with them.

January 1944

Dumbledore stood disillusioned inside of the Three Broomsticks pub. He was watching the public, taking note of items of public interest and the people's opinion on them. He attempted to do this about once a month so as to not become severely out of touch. In some ways he was attempting to prove himself above the urge to meddle that his old friend Gellert Grindlewald had once tempted him with so strongly. As long as he could stand within a crowd and not wish to sway them directly to his causes he could sleep well at night. Unfortunately for the last few years his friend had come up frequently for more and more unsavory reasons. As his thoughts turned towards him, so did the conversation in the bar.

Dumbledore's feelings about the man were immensely complex and he doubted either of them truly knew what they felt towards the other. There was a good dose of hatred, but there was also bitter regret and hints of affection. He knew that he possessed by far the greatest chance of besting Grindlewald in a duel of any currently living wizard. It was not purely a matter of strength, though that was the main reason people asked him to defeat his old friend. He knew that Gellert had stolen the Elder Wand a few years ago, so even though he was the stronger wizard that was unlikely to directly determine the outcome. Rather it was the familiarity the two had with each other's style. They had already had one immensely violent and vicious duel that had resulted in the death of his sister and the estrangement of his brother. It was the one act that he could never forgive Gellert for.

Deep down he was almost thankful for it, for he knew that had history gone any other way in that duel that he would likely be alongside Gellert even now, even after all the horrors and atrocities he had committed. The sad truth of the matter was that he had cared about his sister far more than he did about any the deaths caused by Gellert in this awful war. Intellectually he knew that he was going to have to fight Gellert. The kind, gentle boy had become a monster. Emotionally, however, he truly was not prepared to fight the man. The conversation in the pub circled around the latest battles, but opinion mostly seemed to be the same as in the last month. He sighed and left for Hogwarts, where he was currently serving as the deputy headmaster and transfiguration teacher. Winter break would shortly be over and he needed to prepare for the return of the students.

There was a traditional feast upon the return of the students. Their absence had been far shorter (and not all had left) than in the summer but it had still been felt all the same. This time, however, the feast was far less celebratory or joyous. The reason was due to an empty seat at the Hufflepuff table. A young third year muggle-born boy, Corey Barnes, had been killed by a muggle bombing of London over the winter break. Dumbledore found himself unable to draw his gaze away from the empty chair for the duration of the feast. Corey had been a friendly sandy-haired boy. He hadn't been especially remarkable in any way, he had mostly kept his head down and kept to himself in class. He had been neither a saint nor a villain. He was gone though. His face would never offer up a shy but somehow carefree grin again. Dumbledore felt a tear trickle down his face at the thought. He was not the only one to have been crying, he had been a fairly popular child among both staff and students alike.

The guilt Dumbledore felt was almost completely overwhelming. He knew that he had not been the one to launch the bomb directly, and he knew that Gellert was not directly responsible either. However, he could not shake the feeling that if he had stopped Gellert then the sandy-haired Hufflepuff would still be alive. He knew with absolute certainty though that this war and death would continue until Gellert was stopped. Resolve hardened in his heart until he was certain victory was possible as he stared at the still-empty chair.

That night Dumbledore dreamed of fire and ash. He felt himself being filled with knowledge each time the ash turned into fire and the fire turned into ash. It was an offer being made. An offer with a heavy price, one that was being communicated directly to his mind in a fashion unlike any he had experienced before. It was not legilimency, he merely began to abruptly know certain facts. He felt like his mind was being flooded with information :

He was being offered a bond with a phoenix. This bond was not by chance. If he accepted this bond, he would lose something both priceless and worthless. For this bond to be offered, the phoenix had to believe that he believed that his intentions were pure. The distinction here was very clear - phoenixes needed avatars to interpret mortal methods of understanding for them. A phoenix was quite literally an amoral being bound with only the strictest or loosest of interpretations of "good" as being their goal. They were neither more intelligent or less intelligent than a human, their minds existed on a different scale from a human one. It was like comparing a human mind to the brain of a star.

The price he would have to pay would be to synchronize his mind with the phoenixes to enable it to manifest on the physical plane. Phoenixes needed these avatars to exist and to reproduce and to interact with the world. The benefits would be to acquire a creature that was of tremendous use in battle and healing, capable of transporting its avatar to any location as long as privacy was not a concern, for phoenixes are prideful creatures. To some extent their appearance was determined by their owner, though they were always avian and fiery, this was the source of legends such as the Chinese Fenghuang or Persian Simurgh.

He had always had a phoenix in his mind, and once it was accepted, parts of his mind that were sealed off and occupied by it would become available to him. His power as a wizard should also greatly increase.

Dumbledore felt his mind beginning to undergo the synchronization process, it seemed to be stabilizing the flow of information and translating it into simpler, more human terminology. However, without his permission it would not enter a final state. The price was that he would be unable to communicate any of this information and that he would lose all concept of mortality. He would be unable to conceive of any spell related to death and he would not understand how death itself would occur. To him once someone began existing they would always continue existing until they didn't. The part of his mind that could join the cause and effect of existence and death would be forever lost. The bond was only possible because of the strength of his love for Gellert. Whatever had created phoenixes had deemed love to be the purest of emotions, and so to bond with a phoenix one had to possess a deep, absolute type of love for another.

Dumbledore shuddered as he came awake. He was covered in sweat. The thoughts and knowledge of the phoenix swirled around his head, but he found that price to be too high to pay. The phoenix in his mind laughed with a fiery cackle and he abruptly found himself wondering what exactly his dream had been about. He knew it had been intense, but he truly did not know. It wasn't that unusual though, he never remembered any of his dreams after waking.

May 1 1945

Dumbledore's initial salvo was launched at Gellert, who skillfully parried the trio of spells away and returned with the exact same grouping of spells that Dumbledore himself had used. This was almost familiar to Dumbledore, being the same as the opening moves when they had practiced dueling in their youth. The problem was immediately apparent to him though. It would be an infinitesimally close duel. But while both of them had grown stronger and faster than in their youth, Gellert had grown past even Dumbledore. It would be by a tiny margin, but he would lose. He forced the thought out of his mind and continued on a chain of spells intended to break his opponent's concentration more than outright win the duel. Landing any spell in a duel such as this one would be a tremendous advantage, even if it was a tickling charm.

Gellert saw through his methods almost instantly and began to use a non-verbal shield that he would not have recognized had he not been the one to research it. It was a low powered shield that was useless for anything past a minor hex. _He truly knows me too well_ _for this_ Dumbledore thought, deciding to change up his strategy massively and began to launch spells he had only learned after Gellert had left his life. The problem was that these spells were all of a considerably higher complexity and longer casting time. Unfortunately, Grindlewald chose this moment to seize the initiative and launched his own trio of spells, two minor hexes mixed with a bone shattering curse. Dumbledore almost fumbled in switching from his attempt to create a tidal wave into a shield but he managed to barely get one up in time.

 _The power of the elder wand was not to be underestimated_ , he thought ruefully as the spell made contact. His shield had stopped a spell intended to shatter his bones but the force had thrown him upon his back, at Gellert's mercy. Dumbledore could detect nothing in the man's eyes. He seemed dead, hollowed, emptied of everything but rage. The tip of his wand began to glow green and he proceeded to voice the first verbal incantation of the duel. It was too close to him to dodge and he recognized that no shield would stop this spell.

" _Avada -_

He knew that by killing him whatever meagre shreds of humanity Gellert had left would vanish completely. He wondered if Gellert had drawn him into this duel in an effort to finally be stopped. His mind seized onto that possibility, wondering if Gellert seemed so upset because his old lover hadn't proven capable of stopping him or defeating him. Dumbledore wished that he could help Gellert, and as that thought entered his mind he felt a fire over take his mind and he heard the sound of locks and barriers burning away. He looked up at Gellert as he finished the incantation

"- _Kedavra_ " and watched in amazement as a phoenix appeared between the two of them and swallowed the viridian bolt. Dumbledore rose to his feet, and readied himself into a dueling position. _The outcome was certain_ , he thought. _I can only hope that the price is worth it._ Grindlewald's expression had gone from amazement to grim determination. The two of them raised their wands and the duel began anew.

AN - This was the final part of my other story but I couldn't figure out exactly how to structure it and in the end I think it made more sense as a standalone anyways. This was what I've had rattling around inside for my head for pretty much a year, it's an interesting possible explanation for some of Dumbledore's more bizarre actions I think.


End file.
